nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
