WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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