So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
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