you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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