It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
