My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
