i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
