It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
