dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
