a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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