no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
