dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
