If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
