ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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