3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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