You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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