Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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