Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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