Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Panties = found
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
