please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
