Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
