by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
