Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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