how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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