You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
