at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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