Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
