don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
