my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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