is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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