im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
