I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
She needs sedatives and a leash
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
