You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
