she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
