I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize