How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
