she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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