I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
did you just send me my own nude
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
