I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
time to smoke my breakfast
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
