Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I need water and some morals
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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