I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
