Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize