i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
