just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
