coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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