and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
