i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize