I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize
