Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
