If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize