oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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