I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
