How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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