he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
