I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Randomize
