and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize