Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
