so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
