Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
COCAINE IS GR8
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
