that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
