Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
