So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
