His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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