You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
