I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize