so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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