This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
