Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
