1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
