Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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