You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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