i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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