hell yes lets make some ravioli
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
