The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
As shirtless as possible
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize