SEEEEXXX PLEASE
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just found puke in my bra..
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
