I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
