you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
