i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
