question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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