HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
dude i'm inner monologue high
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
