i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm passing your future prison.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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