new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
