Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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