i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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