they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize